My heart is broken.

But this is not an article that is going to go into the depths of how wrong what is happening in the US is. I feel too raw right now to express this. This article is going to share my personal insight in why the right to abortion is important to me, a now mother of five.

I found myself a little over eight years ago staring at a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom of a supermarket. To this day I still remember the feeling of utter despair that washed over me. My husband and I were using three different types of birth control. We had a little girl whose birth had left me traumatised, while her pregnancy had been fine, the birth experience had left me unwilling to have any more children. And yet, here I was. Pregnant. Again.

I felt immediately isolated, scared, angry, anxious and desperate. I felt trapped in my own body and resentful. I fell into a deep cycle of depression and struggled with daily life for a few weeks. I got to a point where I decided to go see my doctor and ask for help, my initial thoughts were that there might be some antidepressants that could numb all feelings because nothing I felt was fine.

The doctor sat down across from me and asked me questions to understand where my feelings were coming from. He gave me a space that allowed me to sort my feelings and then told me: You. have a choice. It does not matter what your family or anyone expects of you. You have a choice.

He proceeded to explain the referral he was going to make for me to maternity services but also my options for a termination of pregnancy. He gave me a space to ask questions, without judgement, a place where I felt seen, heard, respected. I went home with my options in mind.

The talk and the right to an abortion saved my life. It gave me back power over a situation that had brought me to a very dark emotional place. Most importantly it gave me the choice to have my daughter. I decided to carry on the pregnancy, it was a difficult one but her birth was a healing experience.

My second daughter is seven years old now, thanks to her I went on having three more children and became a better mother and I get to hold her and tell her she was wanted, and that is something that every child should deserve to know they were: wanted.